After a perfect weekend of spending time with family and enjoying the fall weather, on our way home last night my husband and I were in a four car pile-up on the I-15 freeway. The entire accident was caused due to two mattresses and a headboard falling onto the freeway from someone’s loaded vehicle. This was the third major car accident in our immediate family in less than eight months where at least two of the cars have been totaled, (we are still awaiting the damage report on last night’s accident), and two of the accidents were not in any way our fault, but rather the other driver being at fault, with the other totaled vehicle being from circumstances to lose control of the vehicle and go over the cliff. In over 29 years of marriage and six drivers in our household, we have not ever had a totaled vehicle before this and have only had small fender bender incidents. As I have pondered the events of last evening and how quickly things can change in our lives, I found myself thinking about different scenario’s and I came up with some insight that I considered and thought about. I wonder if you could gain some insight from this as well.
First, there are No Accidents. I truly believe that things happen for a reason, Always. When I truly look at what is happening in my life and ponder what there is to learn from the day to day things that happen, I am able to gain so much wisdom. Even from the simple things like a minor injury that we sometimes do not look at as a big deal. These little things can teach us patience, understanding or compassion. We are all learning in this thing we call life and the sooner we learn what is here for us, the sooner we move on to the bigger juicier stuff, right?
Second, do we live with No Regrets? How are your relationships? Things happen suddenly and we do not always have a second chance to make things right, or to talk with that loved one one more time! I learned this lesson many years ago when my twin brother died tragically at the age of 33. I also received two phone calls this year, when your heart sinks and there is a child on the other end of the phone that has just totaled their vehicle and should not have survived it. Do you have unfinished conversations that need to be completed and relationships that need to be healed in your life? Do your loved ones know just how much you love them every day so that if there were no tomorrow, that you would be able to have peace?
Third, are you the cause of “loose ends that create a disaster”? Last night we were headed home from a wonderful evening of visiting our daughter and seeing her “new place”, as well as having dinner with two of our children. It had been a wonderful peaceful weekend. As we are driving home on the freeway, all of the sudden two cars in front of us both dive around something that is in the road, we look up just in time to stop to avoid hitting the mattresses and headboard. Then suddenly, BAM……we are hit from behind by a truck, which is also hit and this becomes a four car pile-up! Two cars are totaled on the scene, and thousands of dollars in damages in the other two vehicles, nine lives were spared, but injuries were felt by all nine individuals. Yet the person that was really at fault for causing the entire accident is the one who did not tie up the loose ends by securing their load properly and being a responsible courteous driver. Taking the time to do it right the first time. This person was nowhere to be found. The insurance companies will be paying out incredible amounts to cover the expenses that were caused by someone else. How many times does this happen? We all know people like this. (Of course it is not any of us! But we all know someone like this.) Do we leave loose ends that create disasters for others from our lack of attention to detail and our going unconscious and not paying attention?
Fourth, do we ever have Minor external damage that requires Major repairs? Our car in the pile-up last night is a Dodge Charger. They are known for their strength and durability. In crash tests they are rated very highly. We found this out first hand. We were slammed into from behind and hit so hard it felt as if the trucks front end was almost in the back seat. Yet, after we got out and saw the car we could not believe it. It looked as though we had hardly been hit, at least upon first appearances. Upon closer inspection we could see the back fenders are buckled, all of the panels from the front doors back are out of alignment and tweaked out of place, as well as damage underneath and possible frame damage. Sure, upon first sight, no big deal. With further inspection we found all kinds of damages that will cost thousands of dollars in repairs. This can be compared to someone being judgmental of someone and saying unkind or even rude things to them, creating damages from on the inside that we have no idea are even a factor for the person that is hurt. We can be caught unaware of just how much we have hurt someone even when we thought we were just joking around or giving someone a hard time with our sarcasm and light hearted jokes. Yet are we causing internal damages that will cost thousands in effort, expense and heartache over time for that person to heal? This could be a co-worker, a friend, your spouse or even your child. We must be aware of our actions as well as our words. It matters.
So, in conclusion of this little epiphany of mine from last night, let me ask you these four questions:
- Are you finding the wisdom and learning from your “accidents”? There is always a lesson to be learned from all that comes to us. Find the wisdom that is being served up to you.
- Are you living your life with no regrets in your relationships? I encourage you to find one relationship that you can heal today and take action to fix your relationships and live your life with no regrets.
- Are you the cause of loose ends and creating disasters all around you? If this is you, take action to create accountability in your life and be conscious in your life!
- Are your actions and words causing serious damages to others even though they seem minor on the outside? We must be aware of our words at all times. This is not only to others, but also to our selves. Let’s all create love and harmony all around us instead of creating damages that cause internal damages that can take years to overcome.
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Thank you for joining me! I would love to hear feedback and comments from you and what you have learned and how you have grown from the “accidents” in your life!
Kris Barney